Evading A Painful Past By Rising Above Fear

I don't know how to start today's post or where to start from. Probably afraid of revisiting the past. 

A painful, inglorious past – one that I wish to erase permanently. 

I'm equally aware that unless I share my story with a larger audience, it'll continue to haunt me for the rest of my life. To heal completely, I need to evade every bit of negativity that has surrounded me for years.

So there, I was a victim of verbal and physical abuse during childhood.

You heard it!

Only my wife and a few close friends know about this bitter truth, and now you. Time to bury the hatchet maybe. 

Here's my tryst with agony, consternation, and triumph.


The Beginning


I was an average Joe in school. Extroverted, talkative, and naughty. But never the kind to harm anyone intentionally. As someone who grew up on a staple diet of typical middle-class values, I was privy to all the nuisance I now wish no kid should ever indulge in while growing up.

My Childhood Ended Even Before It Started


The struggle to make ends meet implied that both my father and mother were required to be in full-time jobs. My upbringing was rather strict. Considering the culture and environment I grew up in, it would be deemed completely normal to raise hand on boys or expect them not to cry when they get beaten up. I never really understood that popular notion back then.

And I still don't!

At school, I was timid for the large part and avoided clashes of any kind ... perhaps, as a result, was bullied a lot. I don't exactly remember for how long did I endure all the name calling but I do remember telling myself repeatedly every night "sticks and stones can break my bones but name calling can never hurt me."

I Was Wrong. Dead Wrong.


One should never live with an illusion that the hurt will vanish just like that.

To illustrate the deep-rooted psychological effect it had on my own life – I stopped believing that I could be "macho" like other boys. It broke my ability to believe (in myself), eventually getting to a point where nothing else mattered anymore. The tears, the suffering, the people. I gave up on everything!

The psychological effect of cyber bullying (Reference: http://www.fizzandtattle.com/)


Biggest Turn Around


For me, the greatest challenge was to rebuild that esteem. I needed to believe in a power greater than myself to get through.

As luck would have it, I met Sadhna (my better half now) at an interesting crossroad. She taught me how to let go. She urged me to speak up about issues that truly mattered.

Exploitation of any kind will continue to exist only and only if we accept being silent. It is basically like you're saying "I allow to be taken advantage of; I allow this to happen to me."

Bully Free - It starts with me (Reference: http://www.nea.org)

Counseling Alone Will Not Help


We've got to stop this culture of bullying right away. I had to travel down a long road to get to this point. Imagine those who are probably not that strong.

Where will they go? Who will they look up to?

I'm leaving you today with a food for thought, hoping that you'd be able to rise above fear!



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